For a long time, I genuinely believed therapy was mostly just talking. You show up, sit down, share how your week went, describe your emotions, and hope all that talking eventually turns into some kind of emotional healing. And in the beginning, that’s exactly what therapy looked like for me.
Most sessions were conversations - thoughtful and supportive - but still just talking. Sometimes my therapist would ask me to describe how certain emotions felt in my body: where they say, where they felt heavy or light, whether my anxiety felt tight in my chest or whether sadness felt like pressure behind my ribs. I tried my best, but mapping emotions to physical sensations never came naturally to me. It felt abstract, almost impossible.
Then one day, she introduced something completely new - something I had never heard of before: EMDR.
When she first explained what EMDR is and how it works - the eye movements, the tapping, the bilateral stimulation - my honest first reaction was “This sounds a little strange.” I didn’t understand how something that wasn’t traditional talking and any method without any form of machine hooked to my head could help process trauma, reduce anxiety, or bring emotional relief.
But I trusted her. And slowly, gently, EDMR became the turning point I had hoped for in my journey with therapy and healing. I didn’t always come out feeling those positive sensations I had once imagined therapy to be. What people don’t always talk about is that EMDR sessions don’t always feel good in the moment. In fact, some days I came out feeling absolutely awful - drained, emotional, foggy, or heavier than when I went in. I didn’t understand it at first. I thought therapy was supposed to make me feel lighter, not worse. But over time, I realised something important: those difficult sessions were part of the process. They were signs that my mind was finally beginning to process things I had been running away from.
The sessions that felt the hardest often led to the biggest breakthroughs later.
It was uncomfortable, but it was movement.
And that movement - even when it felt messy - slowly led to a kind of emotional freedom that I didn’t think was possible.
Once I realised that the difficult feelings after some EMDR sessions were part of the healing, everything made a lot more sense. EMDR wasn’t making things worse - it was helping my mind finally process emotional experiences I’d been carrying for years. And to understand why it can feel so intense, it helps to understand what EMDR therapy actually is.
What is EMDR Therapy? (A Simple, Gentle, Explanation)
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, and it’s a form of trauma therapy that helps the brain to process unresolved memories, emotional triggers, and experiences that didn’t fully “file away” the first time around.
Unlike traditional talking therapy - which relies heavily on analysis, conversation, and reflection - EMDR works with the brain’s natural processing system.
When we go through something overwhelming, the brain sometimes can’t fully digest the experience. It leaves the memory “stuck” along with the emotions attached to it. EMDR helps the brain “unstick” it.
How does EMDR Work?
During an EMDR session, your therapist uses bilateral stimulation (BLS) - usually eye movements, tapping, or alternating sounds. It activates both sides of the brain, allowing you to access a memory without being overwhelmed by it.
The one most search questions about EMDR: “Does EMDR work even if I don’t talk much?: Yes. Very often, the most powerful park of EMDR happens internally.
Your brain finally gets to complete the processing it couldn’t do before.
This is why EMDR is known for helping with:
- Anxiety
- Trauma
- Emotional Flashbacks
- Low self-worth
- Overthinking
- Relationship Wounds
- Attachment Triggers
- Chronic Tension
- Deep-Rooted Fears
- Childhood experiences
- Past Break-ups
And this emotional processing is exactly why you might walk out of a session feeling tired, tender or even awful - but lighter in the long run.
Why Some EMDR Sessions Feel Intensely Emotional
One of the most common misconceptions online is that EMDR instantly makes you feel good. In truth, emotional healing is never a straight line, and EMDR reaches parts of you that ordinary conversations simply can’t. After some sessions, I walked out feeling emotionally raw, overstimulated, foggy, or unexpectedly tearful - not because something was wrong, but because something was finally shifting. These reactions are actually signs that the brain is processing memories it’s been holding onto for far too long.
The best way to describe EMDR is like emotional physiotherapy: sometimes things ache before they feel stronger, sometimes the stretch feels uncomfortable before it becomes freeing.
What EMDR Feels Like: A Soft Walkthrough
So what actually happens in a session?
It usually begins with choosing a “target” - a memory, belief, or emotional pattern that feels especially charged. From there, your therapist gently guides you into noticing the emotions and body sensations attached to it, even if that’s something you’ve never been good at before.
Then the bilateral stimulation begins. Whether through eye movements, tapping, or gentle alternating sounds, the rhythm becomes almost meditative. As this happens, your mind begins to process the memory on its own terms. Thoughts and sensations rise and fall like waves: sometimes intense, sometimes quiet, sometimes strangely neutral. All of it is normal.
Gradually, the emotional charge begins to fade. The memory feels less sharp, less painful, less consuming. And in that softened space, something new often emerges - a healthier, clearer belief like “I’m safe now,” “It wasn’t my fault,” or “I deserve better.” These aren’t forced affirmations; they’re the natural result of emotional healing taking shape.
Why EMDR Leads to Emotional Freedom
“Emotional freedom” can sound abstract, but the reality is beautifully simple. You begin to notice that you’re no longer reacting to life from old wounds. Situations that once triggered panic or shutdown feel more neutral. Your body feels lighter - the tightness eases, the heaviness lifts, and your mind stops replaying the same stories.
Self-worth starts rebuilding itself quietly in the background. You feel clearer about what you want, what you feel, and what you deserve. And perhaps most meaningfully, you feel more present. Less hypervigilance, less overthinking - more space to just be.
This is the emotional freedom so many people are searching for, and one of the reasons EMDR continues to rise in conversations around genuine, long-lasting healing.
How to Care for Yourself After EMDR Sessions
After certain EMDR sessions - especially the heavier ones - a little aftercare goes a long way. Giving yourself softness is one of the kindest things you can do. Go home, make a warm drink, curl up in something cosy, and let your nervous system settle without pressure or expectation.
Journaling can also help anchor you. Even a few simple lines like “Here’s what came up today…” or “This is how my body feels right now…” can bring a sense of grounding and gentle regulation.
Most importantly, be kind to whatever emotions show up. If you cry, that’s okay. If you feel tired, foggy, or unexpectedly emotional, that too is part of the release. Nothing you feel is wrong.
Try not to compare your process with anyone else’s. EMDR looks different for every person, and there is no “right way” to respond - only your way.
And as the days go by, notice the small shifts: the softened edges, the calmer moments, the reduced reactivity. These little changes are the quiet signs that healing is already happening.
Why EMDR Was Worth It?
When I look back now, I realise the sessions that felt the heaviest were the ones that quietly changed everything. They opened doors I didn’t even realise had been locked. They helped me understand myself in ways that talking alone never could. And while not every session felt good, every part of the journey mattered more than I knew at the time.
The heaviness wasn’t a setback - it was a sign something inside me was finally shifting. On the other side of that movement was something softer, lighter, steadier… a kind of emotional freedom I genuinely wasn’t sure I would ever feel again.
A Final, Gentle Thought
If you’re curious about EMDR…
If you’ve just started and you’re wondering why it feels so intense…
If you walk out of sessions feeling awful and fear you’re doing something wrong…
You’re not alone.
And you’re not moving backwards.
You’re healing in ways your mind has been waiting for.
EMDR isn’t easy - but it is powerful.
And it might just be the key to a level of emotional freedom you never thought was possible.
